Life can be hard sometimes, as evidenced by my first attempts to take a decent picture of the tetras in my
boyfriend’s fiancé’s aquariums. Those fuckers are fast. They don’t care what you want. All they want to do is run away from your big-ass lens, which probably looks like a shark’s gaping maw from their POV.
This is a very good metaphor for life, if you think about it. Sometimes what you want seems so innocent, but other people in the world see you as a hunter, a carnivore of souls, a vicious beast only looking for our yourself, with multiple rows of teeth that never need flossing. They don’t realize that what you want ultimately benefits them. In this case, photos on the Internet=fame. Why don’t my
boyfriend’s fiancé’s fish want to be Internet-famous? What is wrong with them?
So next time your dentist hygienist chastises you for not flossing enough, try biting her. Then she’ll see how strong your teeth are and realize you are King.