you that would call me to tell me you love me
is the same you that says I play games, I speak lies, I devise master plans.
if I estimated my value by the worth you place in me, I would be worth less than nothing, but more than some things.
I would be you as you see yourself.
All the things I do wrong would be in defiance of you, not because I am human, make mistakes, miscalculate, get tired, haven’t eaten for a while and got confused;
each misfortune a direct hit
a reflection of how little you are, how fragile the emotional economy is,
how important it is to fear and hate.
you that would text to tell me you’re fine
you that would email to tell me you’re better
the day it is not about you is the day you send a truthful message, containing banal words used like any normal person would
“your dad has multiple tumors and is starting chemo tomorrow,
today he’s out golfing.”
some people. even the invitation of death won’t faze them
won’t faze them at all.